WOTID: Penguins

And thus begins a new, and possibly-shortlived chapter of this blog. A new daily post entitled, Word on the Internet of the Day (Wotid).

It lends itself very well to funny Cockney accents. Without further ado, Wotid is today is Penguins.

Afro Samurai DVD

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Afro Samurai DVD, originally uploaded by sangsara.

Pirated DVD with blurb for another movie, Ghost in the Shell:Innocence.

Makes fantastic claims of “Final Fighting!!!” and implies entertainment AND resonance, unlike Innocence.

Charlie Brooker at Glastonbury

‘Oh good, it’s raining again’ | Glastonbury 2007 | Guardian Unlimited Music

Here’s an entirely random list of things I hate. Mud. Rain. Inconvenience. Any form of discomfort whatsoever. Loud noises. People. People’s friends. People standing next to other people, with yet more people in between. Drunks bumping into you and being sick down your leg. Poorly maintained public toilets. Camping.You’ll find all these things and more at the Glastonbury festival, which is why it has always struck me as heck on earth.

A man after my own heart! If you think it sounds like fun, then the next paragraph should discourage you from ever trying to get me to go someday after we save up enough money, maybe next year, maybe just before we get married and have kids – the answer now and forever, is NO.

On top of that, I’d heard my share of off-putting Glastonbury myths. Tents bobbing in a mud-slide. Widespread trench foot. A man on ketamine eating his own hand. One of my friends swore blind she knew a man who’d been sitting in a Portaloo when some passing japester decided to tip it over, door side down, leaving him trapped inside a coffin full of foaming crap for 15 horrifying minutes; it went in his eyes and mouth. He got dysentery.

Charlie Brooker on Facebook

The Guardian’s funniest columnist has joined Facebook, despite being bad with people and small talk. I think just about every major news outlet now (The Straits Times included, oh my) has covered Facebook in a major feature section.

Afterwards my friend asked how the party had gone. I complained that the key to small talk had merely opened a door on a world of tedium.

“Well, duh,” they said. “No one really cares what anyone else is getting up to. Why do you think it’s called small talk? It’s just shit you say to make things less awkward.” What, just a pointless noise you make with your mouth? “Precisely,” they said. “Cows moo. People small-talk.” And I thought: I hate this world. This stinking, unbearable world.


Japanese Schoolgirl Watch: Coin-Op Aerobics

Any article with “Japanese Schoolgirl Watch” in it, you can be sure I’ll link.

Wired has a photo and mini-story on the new konbini fitness fad. Which is taking the ubiquitous locations of convenience stores and adding them to the ADD bursts of videogame arcades for a new kind of urban gym. Users pay ¥500 (SGD$6.20) to exercise for 10 minutes on a new kind of balance-challenge workout machine that lets you do aerobic activity without breaking a sweat. Awesome.


Would you?

Slashdot | When Does Technolust Become An Addiction?

Would you give up the use of a mobile phone (for life), for £1 million? Apparently 1 in 3 young Britons wouldn’t. Wow. I think I grossly underestimated the technophilia of the English. When I was there, people were happy to live without the internet for weeks on end. Some *gasp* didn’t even have email addresses. This was around the same time that the Koreans declared “email is for old people.”

Surprisingly, I think I’d take up that offer, depending on what the definition of mobile telephone was. Would an internet tablet count?

DS to be in 89% of Jap homes

Handheld console market maturing

A report from Screen Digest projects 89% penetration of Nintendo’s DS portable console system by 2011. By comparison. the Game Boy Advance (probably the most popular handheld ever) maxed out at 56%. Japanese people of all ages have stopped seeing the DS as a game machine, removing barriers to adoption. Right now, it’s an electronic cookbook, a web browser, a brain stimulator, a pet, an English teacher, and so on. Come on, Nintendo, make us a phone already.

Fancy a long meandering post about food?

Fancy a Chindian?* [guardian.co.uk]

Imagine a parallel universe where everybody drives Ferraris, Porsches, Lamborghinis. Although this sounds like the set up for a bad Mercedes-Benz ad, what car do they upgrade to when they finally arrive in the world?

Or a nation of people who use Macintosh computers exclusively. Everyone uses a Mac. Everyone dresses in jeans and loose winter-toned fabrics. Just imagine. Wow, excuse me a minute while I change my underwear.

Yes, so everyone there uses a Mac. Who should be cast in the ads when Macs are finally surpassed by a new type of computer? What does this hero look like? How much more self-important and pretentious can an actor be?

The reason for that long preamble was to prepare you for the mindblowing concept that follows.

Somewhere in this world, there is a country where the people eat a certain kind of inferior food, day-in and day-out. Friends, the majority of us are already living in the equivalents of FerrariTown and MacVille. Consider that for a moment. We are quite blessed, compared to this land of people who consume the culinary cousins of Skodas, Yugos, Hyundais, Dells, and generic beige box computers running Windows ME.

This country is England. And occasionally its poor inhabitants dine upon foreign foods that have been soaked in the mire of traditional British cooking, removing them far from the original designs.

I present to you an article from a British newspaper, written from the point of view of someone laughably titled a “Food Critic”. It explores what people in utopian countries such as China and India (seriously though, there’s a joke if ever I heard one) eat when they want something exotic.

* “Yes, please. Preferably young and attractive,” is not an appropriate answer.