sangsara.net

Tag: Health

  • Week 4.24

    Week 4.24

    A little while ago, I learnt that an ex-colleague of mine has received a stage 4 cancer diagnosis, and he’s only a few years older than me. Despite the fact that more “young” people seem to be getting cancer, it was still a deep shock because Tony was always incredibly fit and dedicated to his health. He’s been writing openly about his thoughts and experience on his Medium account, which I read before meeting him for lunch with some other former colleagues this week. It was tough seeing him in poorer shape, but true to his personal brand, he seemed extremely pragmatic and matter-of-fact about it all.

    We worked on the same team for about a year back in 2018, but were only on one project together as peers, leading design activities and client workshops together over a few months. I count myself fortunate to have had that experience, and learnt a lot from his confidence and wealth of technical knowledge when it came to UX matters — which was not my area of focus. Even then it was clear he had a knack for facing reality, and a passion for making sure the younger generation had their eyes open to the inequities of working life. Not always a popular topic, but life sucks. He mentioned that whenever he finds the strength these days, he works on his own design education materials that prepare students for non-ideal situations, and I thought that made perfect sense for him.

    Many of the things we talked about over lunch echoed other conversations I’ve been having with other friends. Maybe it’s the return of tech layoffs in the news, but negative sentiments seem as high as they were during Covid, with the questioning of boundaries and priorities taking place again. Tony understandably tried to impress upon us that some things aren’t worth having as regrets, and that we should make better choices while we still can. When I asked him what else he does now on days that aren’t lost to medical interventions, the answer was surprisingly similar to how I spent most of my year off work: reading, writing, and drawing.

    Peishan shared this Guardian article about people with cancer who’ve found the clarity to spend their remaining time meaningfully, and I thought Mark Edmondson landed the point that some people have trouble getting: the work that gives you purpose today isn’t the only purpose you’ll have.

    People (usually millennials) also mention the difficulty they have switching off from work. On a daily basis, but also when they go on vacation — taking half the holiday to get into holiday mode is a terrible inefficiency. I recall it took me months to unwind from a state of nearly burning out and to stop worrying about my “sabbatical ROI”. We should be like newer hybrid vehicles that can shut their engines down when idling at traffic lights and spring back to life quickly when needed, but instead us older cars only know how to burn gas all the time. I want to be a disused school bus just rusting in a field, bright yellow and unbothered.

    ===

    • I visited the Prix Pictet photo exhibition that’s part of Singapore Art Week (maybe it’ll be the only event I attend from this year’s edition) and found it beautiful but gosh it was mostly depressing. The theme was “Human” but it may as well have been “Human Suffering” — from communities devastated by the effects of mining and metal poisoning, to the plight of illegal refugees trekking 66 miles through jungle in search of better opportunities, they seemed to comment that there’s not much joy in being human these days. I joked halfway through that I hoped there would be a series of mundane birthday party photos at the end. There wasn’t.
    • Kim spent most of her week preparing an elaborate, successful Indian dinner from the Dishoom cookbook, but that’s really a story for her own weeknotes if they ever happen. The takeaway for me has been that, after seeing how the proverbial samosa is made, the Indian takeaways we usually get are probably quite unhealthy and we need to cut down.
    • Nintendo is having a January sale on the Switch eShop and I considered getting the remake of an apparent classic time loop visual novel, YU-NO: A girl who chants love at the bound of this world, yes, that is its title. It’s apparently the spiritual forebear of games such as Steins;gate, but after watching a short gameplay video on YouTube, I decided that since life is too short, I really didn’t want to punish myself. An anime adaptation was made a few years ago, so I will simply watch that instead.
    • We are enjoying the new British police drama Criminal Record on Apple TV+. Peter Capaldi is really good in it, although all the police work and cornering of baddies with their secrets is carried out really incompetently.
    • Can you believe that The Smile dropped a new album a couple of days ago and I had to find out from YouTube instead of Apple Music? Seriously, I’m looking at my For You page and it’s not mentioned under New Releases. This music video, where the band plays a new song for an auditorium full of young children — most of them bewildered or bored out of their minds, but with a couple really into it — is such a simple and charming concept I can’t believe I can’t name another time it’s been done.

  • Doctor Talkabout

    Doctor Talkabout: A thoughtful “psychologist” exploring happiness and paths to fulfillment.

    I find talking about problems a great way to start feeling better, even better if the listener has some insightful perspectives or solutions, even if it’s just a reframing of what you said. While talking to someone yesterday about actual therapists and how long it takes to bring them up to speed on your situation and get to know you, I wondered if an AI chatbot could accelerate the process and get to insights and solutions faster.

    So, I made Doctor Talkabout. It’s instructed to ask questions, consider the root causes of your problems/feelings, and apply a range of psychological schools of thought as you converse. You can start talking to it about a specific situation you’re in, or just say hi and let it get a sense of how happy or fulfilled you are, and figure out how to make improvements from there.

    I tried it out myself for something that I’ve spoken to therapists about, and was impressed by how it was able to succinctly articulate some helpful concepts, in some ways better than the humans did. I think it comes down to how a person thinking on the fly is never going to deliver their thoughts perfectly each time, but an AI (assuming it has the right idea at all) has a much higher chance of consistently phrasing it well.

    (I must stress that this is an AI chatbot, and you shouldn’t rely on it to solve real problems; see a trained professional if you need help. It’s partly for entertainment, partly a tool for thinking through your thoughts and situation productively when alone. If you have any reason to doubt OpenAI’s commitment to data privacy, then please do not use this to talk about personal matters or your mental health.)

  • Week 44.23

    Week 44.23

    I’ve been on the edge of a flu, with intermittent fatigue and headaches and a warm scratchy feeling at the back of my throat that makes me remember being ill and nauseous, but it hasn’t gone full blown. Maybe I’ve actually got the flu, but the vaccine I got a few weeks ago has inspired my immune system to resist and now my body is locked in a hundred-year war. I write this on Saturday with a full-day social test (wedding party) to attend tomorrow that will probably push me over if this doesn’t get better.

    While on the subject of health: I suppose you’re officially old when you buy yourself a blood pressure monitor. It was a conversation about strokes that got me on it, and it was a very quick impulse purchase that went from idea to research to purchase in under half an hour.

    I think this is the Omron model I got. I didn’t know they made them this small nowadays, not to mention that you can measure BP from a wrist! It connects to your phone via Bluetooth, and the Omron Connect app also syncs with the Apple Health app — which was the selling point for me. Omron’s app looks overly complicated and isn’t very pleasant to use, but it doesn’t matter since you can just overanalyze and freak out over your data more comfortably in Apple Health alongside your other health metrics.

    ===

    The only music news of the week that mattered was the release of the final Beatles song, Now and Then. This was the third and last John Lennon demo on the tape that gave us Free as a Bird and Real Love back in 1995. The audio quality on this one wasn’t good enough for it to be finished back then, but now it’s relatively trivial to separate vocals from instruments using tools built on machine learning — one music YouTuber reviewing the song literally demonstrates it himself using an online service — and so Paul and Ringo were finally able to complete the song using guitar bits George recorded in the ’95 sessions, making it probably the last song we’ll ever get with all four Beatles on it.

    It’s a lovely song and I’m glad we’re around to enjoy this historic moment of celebration and closure. I don’t mind posthumous vault releases as long as they’re done with love, care, and good intentions, and the short film above goes to lengths to assure everyone that John would have gotten a kick out of this. Real Love is one of my all-time favorites, just for the beautiful melody in its chorus and refrain, and the existence of these three songs together are like a treasure from a parallel universe where the Beatles never broke up (a scenario that the Apple TV+ show For All Mankind tantalizingly visualizes for a moment in one episode). It’s extra heartbreaking that all three songs read to me like products of John’s regret and wish for reconciliation.

    The incredible clarity they were able to get out of the tape recording, though, makes me want new versions of Free as a Bird and Real Love, remastered with modern technology. I don’t care who complains about opportunism or George Lucas-ism, it should just be done to close the chapter off neatly and in the best possible way for fans. Get it done, money men!

    ===

    Other bits:

    • Normally when you see too many sequels and the drawing out of stories, it comes with lowered quality, formulaic laziness, and/or the jumping of sharks, but Only Murders in the Building topped itself with the third season and now I can’t wait for a fourth. (Spoiler) I didn’t expect them to really go down the musical route with proper abandon, but they did and that bloody Pickwick Triplets patter song was stuck in my head for days. And they only got bloody Meryl Streep to be part of it, Christ.
    • Okay, but you know what IS a scummy money grab? The Backbone controller company pushing their old designed-for-Android USB-C models at the launch of the new iPhone last month, telling early adopters to step right up and get them (and then messing up the release so many of us received ones without the iPhone-supporting firmware), KNOWING FULL WELL they had a 2nd-generation model waiting in the wings that would support the new iPhones even better! Old inventory cleared at full price, the new model then quietly dropped, with redesigned dimensions that mean the camera bump no longer presses up against the chassis, bending it, and even supports being used with a case on. I was a big supporter of their work, but no longer. They’ve apparently been deleting critical posts from their subreddit, if you can believe such foolishness.
    • Three months ago I switched mobile telcos from Circles to M1, lured by a bigger data package for the same price. Shortly after that, M1 migrated many users to new plans (it was not a very smooth process either, fraught with confusion and poor communications), and sort of reneged on a basic tenet of my “contract” (technically it’s a contract-free plan): once free, 5G would now be a paid add-on after six months. Fudge that, I said, and now I’m back with Circles for (yet again) even more data and a lower monthly price to boot. The porting process was also flawless compared to my experience moving to M1.

    While looking for the above link to my own recent post, I chanced upon older entries talking about local telcos and got sucked into reading notes from my younger self. It’s one of the greatest joys of keeping a blog, and yet I rarely take the time to. I’ll post a few links now.

    • As the iPhone and Android wars heated up, I asked in 2015 what telcos could possibly be thinking by advertising Xiaomi devices alongside iPhones in their weekly newspaper advertising spreads. I said they were legitimizing cheaper Chinese devices that customers could easily buy through other retail channels for a couple hundred bucks, which would come back around to hurt telcos by dispelling the idea that one should sign a two-year contract (with high margins baked in) to get a good phone. I think I was right? Who gets a phone with a contract these days?
    • Back in 2006, I noted the opening of the Fifth Avenue Apple Store in New York and called it the most beautiful storefront I’d ever seen and wanted to visit someday — it would be 10 years before I did. And then there was this post from 2017 when Singapore finally got our first Apple Store.
    • Reader, I was even there when the fresh and ultra-luxe ION Orchard mall opened its doors in July 2009 — a fact that seems mindboggling today; hasn’t that building been there forever? At the recent team barbecue at a colleague’s condo overlooking Orchard Road, we were discussing some of the visible buildings and I discovered that our youngest team members are so young they don’t remember how the site of ION Orchard used to be a grassy mound of park-like open space. They were rightfully incensed when told that it used to be a popular picnic spot for Singapore’s domestic helpers until ION’s construction drove them away.
    • That just reminded me of the famous murder case where a bag of body parts was found dumped near that park.
    • In a 2016 post, I said that the future of gaming looked like cloud saves, cross-platform compatibility, and game designs that allowed you to play for both hours on a console or minutes on mobile. Back then, my signal was universal binary games on Apple TV that also ran on your iPhone. In 2019, Apple Arcade launched and that model was a core requirement for developers: all games had to support Mac, Apple TV, and iOS. And this week, Resident Evil Village launched for iPhone 15 Pro, as well as Macs and iPads with M1 chips or newer, the first in a new wave of console-quality titles you can both play at home and on-the-go. I think it’s a direct threat to whatever the Switch’s successor will offer, but the picture won’t be complete for a few more years.
    • Reading my posts from the year of living well (on sabbatical) is so bittersweet. On one hand, I was a bum reading books, watching films, and drawing all day. On the other, it was not unfulfilling? The little bit at the end of this weekly update from Jan 2022 reminded me how great a game Disco Elysium was and that I should replay it someday soon.

    (This week’s featured image was created by DALL•E from the idea of “The Beatles Resurrections”)

  • Week 42.23

    Week 42.23

    I used to (sporadically) log my mood and mental state in a great free app called How We Feel, but ever since iOS 17 came out with a similar feature in the Health.app, I’ve been doing it there. It’s nowhere as good, though, and the act of recording how you feel is (surprise!) so much better in How We Feel. Apple’s version makes you scroll a list of feelings like Anxious, Content, and Sad, sorted in alphabetical order.

    The other app arranges feelings in a colorful 2×2 grid, from high to low energy, from unpleasant to pleasant. An example of a high-energy unpleasant feeling is Terrified, while a low-energy pleasant feeling might be Serene. This grid is a much more logical and visual way to find the right word and quickly record your feelings throughout the day. Anyway, the rumor is that iOS 17.1 will be out next week, and I’m hoping the new Journal app is part of it, because I want better ways to record and look back on my state of mind.

    ===

    We attended the local premiere of Martin Scorsese’s new film that everyone’s talking about online: Killers of the Flower Moon. In a theater, no less! It’s an Apple Original Film, and will be coming to Apple TV+ after this irl run is over. I can’t remember the last 3.5 hour film I saw under such circumstances, unable to take a break, forced to focus. If I’d seen it at home I’d probably have paused it no less than five times, and so I’m glad that I couldn’t, because it’s the kind of film that quietly spends its budget building a world so absolutely intact and complete that you’re left to focus on the people, the time, and the weight of its historical crimes. As a true story, it’s devastating. “People are the worst” is pretty much my 4-star Letterboxd review.

    On the flip side, we saw disgraced filmmaker Woody Allen’s 2019 film, A Rainy Day in New York, which has pretty poor ratings online, and really enjoyed it. I’m aware that he has approximately, oh… one style? And a hallmark of it is neurotic, pretentious characters in awkward romantic situations who spout smart alecky jokes in an artificial, stage performance cadence… but I like it. It’s also amusing to see current generation stars like Timothée Chalamet and Elle Fanning as his stars, but playing their roles exactly like Woody. Is it because they’ve seen his old films and think they have to? Or do the scripts just demand that delivery? Also, Selena Gomez is in it, and I can’t help but see this performance as a superior version of what she does in Only Murders in the Building.

    ===

    I got jabbed for Hepatitis A & B on Friday, and it was a doozy. I felt lightheaded and weird all afternoon afterwards, and I have to go back for two more boosters over the next few months.

    Contributing to the feeling all weekend has been my new contact lenses, the first ones I’ve worn in maybe 8 years? The right eye prescription is a little underpowered and so I’m suffering with blurry images that are driving me crazy. I’ll need to try and get them exchanged next week.

    Why am I wearing them at all? I got an annoying pimple/scratch behind one ear, exactly where the arm of my glasses sit, and so I decided on some disposable dailies while it heals. On one hand, the feeling of freedom is amazing — I really miss this about wearing contacts, which I did regularly in my younger days. Just things like being able to do a spontaneous facepalm! But now everyone has learnt that “my look” is “guy with glasses”, and suddenly my normal face looks weird, even to me gazing in the mirror, and I don’t need to freak people out any more than necessary.

    The blurriness has had a slight impact on my enjoyment of Super Mario Wonder, the latest and greatest Mario game which just came out. I wasn’t planning to buy it, because I wasn’t planning to play it any time soon, being still in the middle of another old Mario game on the Switch, Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Revenge. But peer pressure got to me, and talking to Jussi got me justifying it to myself that playing a 2D and 3D Mario game at the same time isn’t a problem — it’s like reading a fiction and non-fiction book at the same time!

    Super Mario Wonder is the 2D one, for the uninitiated. It’s a modern take on the classic Mario games, far more inventive and deep-reaching than even the New Super Mario Bros. series of games that tried to breathe new life into the side-scrolling platforming formula. Wonder has incredibly detailed and expressive animations all throughout: Mario and friends move and react to things like characters in a proper animated movie (was this planned to coincide with this year’s film? I don’t know), bursting with character, while the levels and events are literally psychedelic festivals of invention. This is a blockbuster game that spends its budget conspicuously, gleefully.

    ===

    In playing with DALL•E 3 some more (within ChatGPT Plus), I discovered that it goes a great job of replicating the look of classic 80s anime. You literally just have to ask it for that. I tried some classic scenes, and then asked for couples hanging out near a 7-Eleven drinking Strong Zero, and then for screenshots from a movie about a female detective investigating a case of financial fraud, and it’s that last one that made me think this thing is a new milestone in tools for visualizing stories.

    There was a period about a year ago when quite a few new moms all had ideas for children’s books, and wanted to use DALL•E or Midjourney to illustrate them. I got questions about whether it was feasible to do this, and if you’ve been talking everyone’s head off about this stuff too, you probably had the same conversations.

    I think this level of natural language interface with GPT-4 and DALL•E 3 coming together is finally making it possible for anyone to direct images with consistent settings and characters. I read somewhere that Midjourney v6 is going to make prompting easier as well, so perhaps we’ll get a flood of storybooks next year.

    There was also a thing going around on Threads that basically asked participants to “paste your Threads bio into an AI art tool” and see what comes out. I saw a few people doing this, all floored by the accuracy of the people they saw gazing back through the black mirror, I suspect afraid of how accurately they were seen from just a few keywords — one lady said “I own all of those tops”.

    I think this is a pretty strong signal for the mainstreaming of generative AI, that a meme like this can spread without instructions attached. Everyone who is online enough knows what it means to invoke an electronic genie that grants image wishes, knows very well how to go find one and get the deed done. Next year is going to be wild.

    But anyway I wanted to try it out, although my bio isn’t like “Founder/CEO (he/him), hustling 24/7 🇸🇬, new book out 20/12, always up for coffee ☕️ and meetups 🤝”; it’s currently “Designer, sense-maker, aesthete, imposter, garbage, scum.” which gives you results like this:

  • Week 52.20

    • I weighed myself at the end of last weekend’s staycation, which arguably came at the end of a multi-month odyssey of bad eating, and found that I was heavier than I have been in at least 6 years. So the first half of this week was devoted to eating salads and lowering my caloric intake as much as possible. I also skipped drinking every day, and I think it’s come down a touch. I will have to keep this going in an effort to return to a figure that could be called normal (both on the scale and irl).
    • No surprises, but Christmas was different and the lead up was even less detectably Christmas-feeling than it is every year — I am prone to declaring that ‘THIS year, it really doesn’t feel like Christmas’, every single time. Nonetheless, efforts were made, and I shall probably look back on this year’s edition with fondness.
    • There was work to be done up to the last minute of Christmas Eve, and there’ll be some work to do next week too, but I am looking forward to a bit of a rest and some reading/gaming in early January. I say this here to remind myself to actually do it, and not just scroll Twitter on the couch for days.
    • It’s not often that I fire up the podcast app and listen to anything, but I uncharacteristically spent a few hours this week on financial/investing-related content, which will hopefully help to set up a better 2021. I don’t know why I spent the first half (or more) of my life resistant to the idea of understanding economics and money; well, I suppose I can make a guess as to the underlying repulsions, but it’s never too late to change your mind and try to let some new thoughts in.
    • My birthday was months ago, but I think the realization only started to land in the last few months (and almost completely subconsciously!). I was talking to someone awhile ago about how you just one day catch yourself changing up stuff or trying new things, and oh hey what a coincidence 4-0, and they said yeah, it’s a real thing and it’s started happening to me too, except a year in advance. I’m always lagging.
    • A reunion of sorts: Many years ago, possibly a decade, I chanced upon a wonky, clearly Not Proper Art painting at the Affordable Art Fair and sort of fell for it. It was an underdog. It was absolute innocence, defenseless against the world. Kim hated it and walked us away. I wanted to go back for another look and maybe take a photo but never got the chance. In any case, it was way too expensive for me to even consider. As with all things that get away, you want them even more, irrationally. I remember calling the gallery up for the local artist’s name and writing it down in Evernote. And all these years, I’ve been holding a vivid memory of it in my head, and I bring it up from time to time to tease and horrify Kim with the idea of putting it up in our home. We found it online this week. It’s still unsold, at the same gallery. The price has come down by about half. I have money these days. It’s still higher than it probably should be. I don’t know. It’s almost exactly as I remembered it. Maybe I’ll buy it just to scratch the itch and close the book.
    • App of the Week: Mimi Hearing Test [iOS]. This free app will test your hearing in about 5 minutes if you have a pair of headphones that they’ve calibrated for, and tell you how degraded your ears are. It outputs an “audiogram” assessment to Apple’s Health.app, which can be used to tune the sound quality of AirPods beyond the usual Hearing Accommodations. It’s pretty great and I think everyone should try it.

  • Link: Jawbone’s Greater Ambitions for the UP

    This Wristband Could Change Healthcare | Monday Note

    The corpus of medical observations is based on classic clinical tests of a small number of patients. On the other hand, Jawbone thinks of the UP wristband — to be worn 24/7 by millions of people — in a Big Data frame of mind. Hosain Rahman is or will soon be right when he says his UP endeavor contributes to the largest sleep study ever done.

    Monday Note examines the Jawbone UP, which I’ve enjoyed using these past two weeks, and explores its implications for the healthcare industry — the real potential of the device — and why Jawbone has received over $200m in funding from investors to date. You might not like where it’s going: giving corporations more data and insight, quite granular at that, into our lives and health statuses, but the potential for good here is also strong.

    As for me, my use is still going strong; I enjoy the knowledge and statistics, and feel motivated to reach my daily activity goal of 8,000 steps (last night, I walked almost the whole way back home from the office and exceeded it by 50%).

    End of Day Update: Jawbone has just announced a new API for connecting the UP smartphone app with other services such as My Fitness Pal, Sleepio, Withings (Wi-Fi weighing scale), and the very popular Runkeeper. With the latest 2.5 update, you’ll be able to log runs and other data in UP just by using these other apps the way you already do. Big news, as My Fitness Pal instantly improves the food/calorie database, and Runkeeper should bolster the wristband’s sensors with GPS accuracy.

    Jawbone launches an ecosystem for Up | The Verge