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Did you know that Haagen Dazs has a Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough flavor? I didn’t.

I do like how the brand identity is so far up its own ass that the copy has to practically apologize for the flavor being so “playful”, and point out that you, the adult consumer, are separated from the pure-hearted child who enjoys sticking his finger in the bowl by, oh, I don’t know, millions of dollars? Heaven forbid a child could afford and enjoy Haagen Dazs ice-cream! Incidentally the only positive feelings I have about the brand were fostered in my childhood, when it was pretty much the costliest thing I ate. Now in my old age (where I theoretically aim to recapture lost youth), they’ve pretty much destroyed all of that goodwill on their own, leaving me to embrace the unapologetically fun Ben & Jerry’s instead.

I hope those faux-European bastards are happy now! And what’s up with the lowercase?