In the last couple of days, I’ve fallen for a game which bears more than a passing resemblance in setting to a little show called ‘Lost’. Just in case you didn’t see it, the makers decided to go with the name ‘Stranded’.

I’ve yet to come across a monster, but there have been allusions to something strange going on, and it can’t be far off. What makes this game fun is a combination of portable pick-up-and-play design, and a sense of open-endedness.

It’s an adventure game with quests to fulfill, but you could just spend all your time hunting chickens and fishing , if you wanted. Or collecting seashells and driftwood. Or cooking. Or planting seeds, cutting down trees, and trading goods. It’s a sort of Animal Crossing + Contact. It’s a hell of a lot of gameplay stuffed into a mobile game.

The time of day in the game matches real time (from your phone), and that affects how many snakes are out and about, what kind of fish you’ll catch, and so on. And just like you’d expect from a portable game, saving is allowed at any time. Here’s the official site, and in a great move, they’ve put up an emulated demo of the game here, so you can try before you buy.

The speed, the skillful driving and fatal collisions… Do you think that it is a racing? Far from it! Sex Xonix is the arcade erotic conundrum with smart girls for sweets lovers. – Gamespot blurb

This is the #1 most popular/wanted game on Gamespot Mobile today. Perhaps my life is headed in the wrong direction. Every day at work, I face many problems and dilemmas. Sometimes I even find myself in a quandary. And I often ask myself, “is something missing?” Now I know what it is: a conundrum. To be more specific, an erotic conundrum.

Sadly, this game is not the adrenaline-infused racer it sounds like. It doesn’t feature the usual hot girls standing beside cars. It doesn’t even have any cars. And worst of all, it doesn’t feature bespectacled models solving Times’ crossword puzzles in bed whilst wearing crotchless lingerie.

My friends, this game is a clone of SNAKE*. That’s right, the game that comes with every Nokia phone, except with naked women in the background. IN THE BACKGROUND!

*I’m sure this was intentional.

Found this on digg and just had to share.

Ok I’m over Kate Wax.

Managed to get home early for once today, and watched American Idol. I think last year’s contestants were better, although Blake did a pretty cool beatboxing + Bon Jovi cover for something on a show about the death of music. Then again, once Justin Timberlake becomes known for bringing beatboxing to the mainstream, you know music never had a chance.

Also watched an episode from the new season of Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares, and it was fu#*ing wonderful except for local censorship of every other thing he said. I really loved that show back in the days of the first season. I do find it a problem though when he does his best to demolish the head chef (usually deserved) in front of the help, and then complains later that he isn’t displaying enough confidence. Oh well. He’s earned the right to be a royal asshole, in the kitchen at least.

***

I’ve had it with my Nokia E65. What a piece of shit the Symbian 60 OS is. A complete joke when it comes to usability. I pity everyone out there with a Nokia N series phone. Don’t fall for the advertising. I fall for it all the time, and I’m responsible for some of that shit! But just say no. Don’t believe it.

Years ago, when Nokia came out with their first cameraphone, you know the one, it was purple – they had a great ad for it. Lovely music by Zap Mama (Take Me Coco), and really well-shot visuals. A woman with flowing fabric, in the desert. That ad made me believe I would go to sleep one night and wake up as David LaChapelle. But if you saw the photos off that camera you’d know it was a lie. We were luckier back then. The lies were far enough away from the truth that we actually had a chance.

These days, with YouTube turning people into celebrities, yeah why not? Why shouldn’t a crappy video shot on a Nokia N93i be the turning point in your life? Because the phone sucks ass, that’s why, and you’ll snap it across your thigh in frustration before you even get home to transfer your shitty-ass video onto a real computer. What’s that? Yes, I said a real computer! Your N series phone is not a “multimedia computer”! It’s not “what computers have become”! Don’t falllllll for itttttt!

I’m trading mine in tomorrow for a good old Sony-Ericsson K800i. I took a lot more photos when I had my K750i. The 2mp camera on it was decent, and dependable. I’ve barely taken a goddamned photo in the last 2 months with this Nokia because it just makes my friends look like green shit golems. It’s a fucking embarrassment. No Japanese schoolgirl would be caught dead using one, and as you should know, they are the benchmark against which my life is lived.

Looks like a big month ahead, with new albums from Bjork (love the cover!) and Tori Amos (hate the cover!). I’ve also picked up the new album ‘Contact’ from Thirteen Senses, whose debut album ‘The Invitation’ was pretty damn good and underappreciated. So far I think it’s great.

Rufus Wainwright also has a new album out in May, as do the Manic Street Preachers. If you like that sort of thing. I can’t stop thinking about these album covers. They don’t make them like they used to. Rufus’ looks like there’s some bad photoshopping going on there, although I’m not certain. And the Manics’ 2 fat women after a hen night, well. That’s just a common sight in England, isn’t it.

But really the whole point of this post was to mention and recommend Kate Wax. There are 2 albums in the Dark Heat Collection series, and both are available on eMusic.com. CDs are kinda rare, but if you can find any in your local HMV, be sure to try them out. She does a swirly, atmospheric sort of vocal mumblelectronica.