Sometimes I pity these friends of mine

9:49:05 PM friend: hello
9:49:05 PM friend: i want beer
9:49:14 PM brandon: now?
9:49:16 PM brandon: let’s go
9:49:17 PM friend: and i feel uber grumpy
9:49:26 PM friend: cos someone stole my white sandals
9:49:28 PM friend: *cries
9:50:13 PM brandon: how did they get stolen
9:50:25 PM friend: from my door
9:50:31 PM brandon: maybe accident
9:50:40 PM friend: accident??
9:50:49 PM friend: our doorways are very far apart
9:50:50 PM friend: fuckers
9:51:19 PM brandon: =(
9:51:21 PM brandon: maybe a dog!
9:51:45 PM friend: hello
9:51:53 PM brandon: hello
9:51:56 PM friend: it can’t be a dog
9:52:05 PM brandon: oh you have proof?
9:52:05 PM friend: this floor has no dogs
9:52:16 PM brandon: dogs can climb stairs!
9:52:30 PM brandon: ok don’t feel bad
9:52:35 PM brandon: how about you imagine
9:52:52 PM brandon: a little girl with leukemia
9:52:57 PM brandon: was walking barefoot
9:53:08 PM brandon: home from the hospital
9:53:14 PM brandon: her parents just passed away
9:53:17 PM brandon: and she doesn’t know yet
9:53:19 PM brandon: nobody told her
9:53:23 PM brandon: so poor thing
9:53:29 PM brandon: she didn’t have money to pay the bills
9:53:34 PM brandon: so she snuck off from the hospital
9:53:40 PM brandon: to die alone in her family home
9:53:46 PM brandon: along the way, her feet were bleeding
9:53:47 PM friend:
9:53:51 PM brandon: and an intelligent dog
9:53:55 PM brandon: took pity on her
9:53:58 PM brandon: and stole your shoes
9:54:03 PM brandon: what floor do you live on?
9:54:14 PM brandon: the dog climbed x number of stairs to get them
9:54:17 PM brandon: the dog is also very old
9:54:21 PM friend: stoppit
9:54:24 PM brandon: and risked cardiac arrest by doing so
9:54:29 PM friend: my anger is the only way i can get over it
9:54:32 PM friend: pissed!!
9:54:35 PM brandon: anyway it has a happy ending, she has slippers now and she’s going home to die
9:54:44 PM brandon: fuck i think i’m going to cry
9:54:47 PM brandon: brb
9:54:51 PM friend: idiot
9:55:07 PM brandon: i’m not kidding!
9:55:29 PM brandon: ok back
9:57:53 PM brandon: how do you feel now
9:57:58 PM friend: sian

Japanese food products and candy, delivered for free

Candy freaks (I can think of one) may first be amazed, and then positively elated to hear that Play-Asia.com doesn’t just deliver games and DVDs to Singapore for free, but also “groceries”.


Above (L to R): Meiji Pucca Banana Choco (SGD$3.19), Bourbon Chotos Bitter Chocolate Rusk (SGD$4.00), Happy Cherry Candy (SGD$3.19). All prices include delivery.

Ramen freaks and MSG-addicts like myself will probably gravitate wallet-first towards these other products:


Above (L to R): Hello Kitty Dim Sum noodle bowl – Japanese Curry flavor (SGD$1.59), Nissin Cup Noodles – Pork Chowder(!) flavor (SGD$2.07), Baby Star Ramen Snack – 4 pack in Chicken/Mayonnaise/Tempura/Soy Sauce flavors (SGD$3.19).
All prices include delivery.

Here’s the main Groceries page with many more. Order away!

(Disclaimer: I receive a small commission under Play-Asia’s affiliate program when purchases are made after a visit originating from this site.)

Believe it or not, I was channelling James Earl Jones in Coming to America

I get so many random people messaging me on ICQ while trying to work, and I am explicitly NOT set on “Free to Chat” mode, but somehow the random feature finds me. Anyway, it gives me something to do on slow mornings. I try to believe that it’s amusing for them too, so I’m not losing sleep, thanks for asking.

(10:47:53) 287143814: hi
(10:48:02) brandon: hello
(10:48:18) brandon: i am prince ngatua of namibia
(10:48:37) brandon: i need your help
(10:48:42) brandon: and i can make you rich!
(10:48:58) 287143814: what’s happened
(10:49:06) brandon: rich beyond your wildest imagination
(10:49:17) brandon: i am being deposed by my evil prime minister
(10:49:26) brandon: i need to move my money offshore
(10:49:39) brandon: and then withdraw it again once i am in switzerland
(10:50:05) brandon: can you let me use your bank account? you will be in no great danger for
long
(10:50:07) 287143814: how can i believe u
(10:50:19) brandon: you will have to trust me, my friend
(10:50:22) brandon: i am prince ngatua
(10:50:24) brandon: a man of his word
(10:50:59) 287143814: I would like to invite you to an ICQ Xtra.To be able to accept this invitation you have to download ICQ 5.1.

To download now, go to http://www.icq.com/download
(10:51:16) brandon: i do not have this fancy new ICQ of yours
(10:51:22) brandon: i am running windows 95 here
(10:51:48) brandon: one day i hope to run free in the fields of the new Vista
(10:52:37) 287143814: i see
(10:52:59) brandon: so…
(10:53:06) brandon: can i have your bank account details please
(10:53:19) brandon: i will deposit 15 million dollars
(10:53:26) brandon: and you may keep 2 million for yourself
(10:53:34) 287143814: how can i believe u
(10:53:37) brandon: after i have fled the bloody coup that is now happening outside my palace walls
(10:53:49) brandon: PRINCE NGUATUA NEVER LIES!
(10:54:29) brandon: alright.
(10:54:35) brandon: i will let you keep 2.5 million
(10:54:37) brandon: final offer
(10:54:47) brandon: think of what you can do with 2.5 million dollars
(10:55:10) 287143814: i an pincess too
(10:55:35) 287143814: do you have picture
(10:55:38) brandon: then i will conquer your land, subjugate your menfolk, and fornicate with the ladies
(10:55:43) brandon: and you will be my blood queen
(10:56:02) brandon: of course i have pictures. but i have no scanner.
(10:56:13) brandon: my palace is adorned with many renditions of my grand visage
(10:57:05) 287143814: the most of pince can’t use the high tecnology
(10:57:13) brandon: your english is terrible
(10:57:22) brandon: and this is coming from an african prince
(10:57:32) brandon: nevertheless, it is not your linguistic ability i desire, but your bank account
(10:57:42) brandon: and now. the bank and number please.
(10:58:31) 287143814: how can i believe u u should offer evidence to prove what u said is true
(10:59:11) brandon: what country are you from that you have been raised so distrusting of people in power and government?
(10:59:23) brandon: are you oppressed by a totalitarian state?
(11:00:25) brandon: it is a shame that you do not know the freedom with which our children play and run in the fields of fallen aircraft and skeletal remains of buildings from the industrial age
(11:01:07) brandon: even the dust we eat is free to be shared by all; our common wealth excludes the notion of deceit and deception
(11:01:24) brandon: i, who have been raised amongst such peace-loving people, have no reason to lie to you.
(11:01:30) brandon: and now, your bank account number. please.
(11:02:12) 287143814: why do u haven’t bank account number?
(11:09:18) brandon: i’m back, sorry
(11:09:30) brandon: i went to arrange the transportation of my wine collection
(11:09:36) brandon: those fedex guys can be real bitches
(11:10:11) brandon: i have a bank account, but the prime minister may be able to access it with his powers of hypnotism
(11:10:32) brandon: i need someone safe, someone on the outside
(11:11:07) brandon: in my trusting ways, i have selected you… no, fate has selected you, as the one who will carry forth the treasure of my forefathers
(11:11:38) brandon: i can also use your credit card number. do you have visa or mastercard?
(11:15:32) brandon: hello?

The Pour

Have just discovered Eric Asimov’s wine blog on the New York Times website. Wine blogs may sound like a pretentious formulation to most, but he manages to humanize and deintellectualize a great deal of his thoughts. It could be a blog about a man in search of the perfect cheeseburger; the words have just been changed.

I wrongly assumed to begin with that he was the son of Issac, but it turns out he is a nephew (son of Issac’s brother). Here is an excerpt from the introduction of a post about Bordeaux.

Like many people who decided they wanted to learn about wine, Bordeaux was the first category I explored in those heady days of disposable income, just out of college with a real job, years before my kids were born.

Back then, in the early 1980’s, Bordeaux was a natural. It was a region with a clear structure and hierarchy. Information was relatively easy to come by. It was without equal in prestige, and the wines did not seem difficult to understand.

I made as thorough an examination as I could, culminating in a bottle of 1955 La Mission Haut-Brion that I bought to celebrate my parent’s 30th wedding anniversary in 1985. What a wine! I’ll never forget the combination of graceful elegance and intensity, the complex flavors, the savor in each sip. And of course, the occasion of drinking it with my parents made it memorable, too. My mom still keeps the empty bottle in her kitchen.

Too bad about the misplaced apostrophe there. O, nephew of Asimov, walk closer still to the path yon uncle tread!

MacBook Man

As seen on BoingBoing: Metafilter Matt does a brilliant impersonation of the Star Wars Kid with his motion-sensitive MacBook and the MacSaber app. Funniest comment comes from Anil Dash:

Dude, you know how you have a daughter? And you were worried about how someday a boy would show up on your doorstep, trying to date her?

PROBLEM SOLVED!

Now where did I put that Star Wars chopstick-saber video we made 4 years ago?