Believe it or not, I was channelling James Earl Jones in Coming to America

I get so many random people messaging me on ICQ while trying to work, and I am explicitly NOT set on “Free to Chat” mode, but somehow the random feature finds me. Anyway, it gives me something to do on slow mornings. I try to believe that it’s amusing for them too, so I’m not losing sleep, thanks for asking.

(10:47:53) 287143814: hi
(10:48:02) brandon: hello
(10:48:18) brandon: i am prince ngatua of namibia
(10:48:37) brandon: i need your help
(10:48:42) brandon: and i can make you rich!
(10:48:58) 287143814: what’s happened
(10:49:06) brandon: rich beyond your wildest imagination
(10:49:17) brandon: i am being deposed by my evil prime minister
(10:49:26) brandon: i need to move my money offshore
(10:49:39) brandon: and then withdraw it again once i am in switzerland
(10:50:05) brandon: can you let me use your bank account? you will be in no great danger for
(10:50:07) 287143814: how can i believe u
(10:50:19) brandon: you will have to trust me, my friend
(10:50:22) brandon: i am prince ngatua
(10:50:24) brandon: a man of his word
(10:50:59) 287143814: I would like to invite you to an ICQ Xtra.To be able to accept this invitation you have to download ICQ 5.1.

To download now, go to
(10:51:16) brandon: i do not have this fancy new ICQ of yours
(10:51:22) brandon: i am running windows 95 here
(10:51:48) brandon: one day i hope to run free in the fields of the new Vista
(10:52:37) 287143814: i see
(10:52:59) brandon: so…
(10:53:06) brandon: can i have your bank account details please
(10:53:19) brandon: i will deposit 15 million dollars
(10:53:26) brandon: and you may keep 2 million for yourself
(10:53:34) 287143814: how can i believe u
(10:53:37) brandon: after i have fled the bloody coup that is now happening outside my palace walls
(10:53:49) brandon: PRINCE NGUATUA NEVER LIES!
(10:54:29) brandon: alright.
(10:54:35) brandon: i will let you keep 2.5 million
(10:54:37) brandon: final offer
(10:54:47) brandon: think of what you can do with 2.5 million dollars
(10:55:10) 287143814: i an pincess too
(10:55:35) 287143814: do you have picture
(10:55:38) brandon: then i will conquer your land, subjugate your menfolk, and fornicate with the ladies
(10:55:43) brandon: and you will be my blood queen
(10:56:02) brandon: of course i have pictures. but i have no scanner.
(10:56:13) brandon: my palace is adorned with many renditions of my grand visage
(10:57:05) 287143814: the most of pince can’t use the high tecnology
(10:57:13) brandon: your english is terrible
(10:57:22) brandon: and this is coming from an african prince
(10:57:32) brandon: nevertheless, it is not your linguistic ability i desire, but your bank account
(10:57:42) brandon: and now. the bank and number please.
(10:58:31) 287143814: how can i believe u u should offer evidence to prove what u said is true
(10:59:11) brandon: what country are you from that you have been raised so distrusting of people in power and government?
(10:59:23) brandon: are you oppressed by a totalitarian state?
(11:00:25) brandon: it is a shame that you do not know the freedom with which our children play and run in the fields of fallen aircraft and skeletal remains of buildings from the industrial age
(11:01:07) brandon: even the dust we eat is free to be shared by all; our common wealth excludes the notion of deceit and deception
(11:01:24) brandon: i, who have been raised amongst such peace-loving people, have no reason to lie to you.
(11:01:30) brandon: and now, your bank account number. please.
(11:02:12) 287143814: why do u haven’t bank account number?
(11:09:18) brandon: i’m back, sorry
(11:09:30) brandon: i went to arrange the transportation of my wine collection
(11:09:36) brandon: those fedex guys can be real bitches
(11:10:11) brandon: i have a bank account, but the prime minister may be able to access it with his powers of hypnotism
(11:10:32) brandon: i need someone safe, someone on the outside
(11:11:07) brandon: in my trusting ways, i have selected you… no, fate has selected you, as the one who will carry forth the treasure of my forefathers
(11:11:38) brandon: i can also use your credit card number. do you have visa or mastercard?
(11:15:32) brandon: hello?

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