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Sometimes I pity these friends of mine

9:49:05 PM friend: hello
9:49:05 PM friend: i want beer
9:49:14 PM brandon: now?
9:49:16 PM brandon: let’s go
9:49:17 PM friend: and i feel uber grumpy
9:49:26 PM friend: cos someone stole my white sandals
9:49:28 PM friend: *cries
9:50:13 PM brandon: how did they get stolen
9:50:25 PM friend: from my door
9:50:31 PM brandon: maybe accident
9:50:40 PM friend: accident??
9:50:49 PM friend: our doorways are very far apart
9:50:50 PM friend: fuckers
9:51:19 PM brandon: =(
9:51:21 PM brandon: maybe a dog!
9:51:45 PM friend: hello
9:51:53 PM brandon: hello
9:51:56 PM friend: it can’t be a dog
9:52:05 PM brandon: oh you have proof?
9:52:05 PM friend: this floor has no dogs
9:52:16 PM brandon: dogs can climb stairs!
9:52:30 PM brandon: ok don’t feel bad
9:52:35 PM brandon: how about you imagine
9:52:52 PM brandon: a little girl with leukemia
9:52:57 PM brandon: was walking barefoot
9:53:08 PM brandon: home from the hospital
9:53:14 PM brandon: her parents just passed away
9:53:17 PM brandon: and she doesn’t know yet
9:53:19 PM brandon: nobody told her
9:53:23 PM brandon: so poor thing
9:53:29 PM brandon: she didn’t have money to pay the bills
9:53:34 PM brandon: so she snuck off from the hospital
9:53:40 PM brandon: to die alone in her family home
9:53:46 PM brandon: along the way, her feet were bleeding
9:53:47 PM friend:
9:53:51 PM brandon: and an intelligent dog
9:53:55 PM brandon: took pity on her
9:53:58 PM brandon: and stole your shoes
9:54:03 PM brandon: what floor do you live on?
9:54:14 PM brandon: the dog climbed x number of stairs to get them
9:54:17 PM brandon: the dog is also very old
9:54:21 PM friend: stoppit
9:54:24 PM brandon: and risked cardiac arrest by doing so
9:54:29 PM friend: my anger is the only way i can get over it
9:54:32 PM friend: pissed!!
9:54:35 PM brandon: anyway it has a happy ending, she has slippers now and she’s going home to die
9:54:44 PM brandon: fuck i think i’m going to cry
9:54:47 PM brandon: brb
9:54:51 PM friend: idiot
9:55:07 PM brandon: i’m not kidding!
9:55:29 PM brandon: ok back
9:57:53 PM brandon: how do you feel now
9:57:58 PM friend: sian

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