sangsara.net

Hi-la-rious comment on this Gameboy Micro review page at Eurogamer (yes, I am thinking of buying one while waiting for the Wii).

Guy #1 says the Micro is the worst waste of circuit boards since Johnny Number Five. You either get that or you won’t get the rest of it.

Guy #2 (Bezzy) replies:

My father was a technical assistant on both the Short Circuit movies, and I’ll have you know that for all the puppeteering that went on (i.e. faking robotic movements and such) there are some true robotic feats going on within that robot, due in no small part to my father’s passion for robotineering.

I take great offense to what you’ve said, as you obviously have no clue about the hard work and effort my father put into that robot, even if it wasn’t really a robot and was more like a puppet, but with wires and camera irises and stuff.

What you don’t know is that my father wrote up plans for how Johnny Five could be made to actually WORK! His plans were dismissed as a crackpot fantasy by the Director, Special Effects Supervisor, Osbudman, and Writer (though what a writer knows about robotics, I have no idea). After Short Circuit 2, he left the movie industry to work on his dream. He’s been in the shed ever since. Simulations he wrote in the mid nineties showed that an excess of voltage resulting in electricity jumping between R15590 and C562 COULD result in the system software becoming self aware.

So FUCK YOU! Johnny Five COULD have been real, and if he’s not dead yet, my father will prove it!!

That film is not so much “Science Fiction” as “Science… Maybe?”.

I just love how it starts believable and then goes wacky. It’s a work of art as gamesite comments go. Someone find this guy and give him a job! He even comes back and replies to stupid criticism a little lower on the page.

Edit: Aughhh! I am dying here at my desk trying not to laugh! On the 2nd page, someone suggested that Bezzy’s dad turn his car into a Transformer…

Zuiyo:
Back to Bezzy and Johnny Five: we need Bezzy’s dad in charge of the Transformers movie, won’t you say so?
You can start with my 93 Honda Civic hatch. Only two conditions: I should be able to drive it like before after your dad is done, and the robot should have a mild personality and listen to what I say. None of that KITT shit.

Bezzy:
My dad’s robot is going to solve world poverty and catch terrorists. It’s not there fore your childish amusement.

Once again, I am offended by your internet words of shame.