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This is a Public Service Announcement: Do not see Ghost Rider.

It is a lukewarm piece of Hollywood comic murder scat. It is the final stage of Marvel’s unraveling as a hot intellectual property holder. The Spider-man movies remain as the only good thing left with the Marvel name attached to it. They are the only ones with a good, proven director still behind them, and everything else now is being produced by hacks like Mark Steven Johnson and Brett Ratner.

No, in fact, go see it. Because I can’t prove to you here spoiler-free how bad a movie Ghost Rider is. It is made doubly bad by the presence of Nicolas “No Typo” Cage. How low can a former A-list star go!? Snake Eyes? Con Air? The Wicker Man – Reloaded? Inaccurate Ghost Rider comic translation with ridiculous sappy mid-Western romance story thrown in? Bingo! The shame and embarrassment of his overstated performance will only be matched by your own as you walk out, 2 hours closer to your death with nothing to show for it.

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